My life nowadays is this giant pendulum, swinging, always. OH MY HOLY *#%#& THEY'VE EMPTIED EVERY DRAWER IN THE KITCHEN, a now we snuggle peacefully on the couch with sippy cups and someone sighs "I love you mommy", OH MY EFF SOMEONE KNOCKED OVER AN ENTIRE BOX OF CEREAL ##*$^&##&#%^%, it's after nap time and the boys are hugging for like 5 minutes straight and telling each other they love each other, SERIOUSLY IT'S 4 MINUTES LATER AND FRANKY HAS RAN DREW OFF THE ROAD WITH HIS LIGHTENING MCQUEEN CAR AND THERE MAY OR MAY NOT BE BLOOD.And back and forth we go, all day long.

But I am more a good parent than I am a crappy one.

Today I yelled a couple of times and got impatient and had to let each of them throw a temper tantrum in their beds (separate incidents) but I also gave a lot a lot a lot (as Franky would say) kisses and sang the Little Einsteins theme song with the word "poop" replacing a lot of the words and laughed till my stomach hurt along with my three year old.

I'd say about once or twice a week I count the minutes until Zach comes home and I can just be away from them for a little bit, or do something mindless without wondering what mess I will find while they are in the other room.

People always say "it goes so fast, enjoy every moment" and I've realized that is just kind of silly. I'm going to enjoy the blissful moments and curse under my breath at the not so great ones and try and do my best by my boys. I'll come up with new strategies an coping skills when the current ones fail me and just keep becoming the kind of mom I want to be.

I also watch Hoarders quite a bit. I makes me feel much better about the state of this house full of boys.

Also, this is pretty friggin adorable!

love, ali