Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Recent reads

I love books. I love the way they smell and the weight of them in my hands. I have a special fondness for used books with dogeared pages and notes in the margins.

I'm afraid I could never own a Kindle or the like. I love owning books and hope to be a crazy grandma who refuses to acknowledge that the rest of society has moved on while I sit in my big library, surrounded by a mizillion old farty books. It's better than cats right?

Here are a few I have read recently:

I cried in spite of myself. Beautifully written, makes me want to make out. Just sayin...

My sister said I had to read this before I see the movie. And I want to see the movie. But the book was lovely really. I loved the relationships between the characters. It made me ache for my brother Mitch who is far far away in Korea. There were a few slow parts but most of the time I couldn't put it down.

I read this in about three days. It was a page turner and I would highly recommend it. I loved the dynamics between the main character and her frienemies. I empathized with this girl a lot which made me enjoy the read that much more.

love, ali

Friday, November 25, 2011


I'm a day (or two) late and a dollar short. But here, in no particular order, are a handful of the things I am particularly grateful for this year:

My friends (not all pictured, of course)

Photography and the people it brings into my life

What this sport does for my mind, body and soul

These little guys

This big guy

Happy T-day!

love, ali

Wednesday, November 23, 2011


Had the opportunity to take some family pics in downtown Salt Lake today. I miss it. I'm not gonna lie. I get a little homesick every time I find myself down there. Especially now, as I scan the busy streets with a photographers eye. I miss the food and the greenery and the people. I could live there again in a heartbeat. But I could never afford my current home in the burbs were it located in the city. And I'd have to leave all my friends. Bloom where you're planted, right?

love, ali

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Good riddance

So I want to blog more. And write more letters to my missionary brother. And write in my real journal more often. And I had this big plan for Sundays. There's always time to write on Sunday!

And then today happened. And today was really really crappy. And it's all my fault. Which makes the crappiness of this day all that much worse.

I am a worrier. I worry about dumb things. Little things. Little people. Things and people and the things they may or may not think or do that in 5 years, or 5 month really won't be a blip on the radar.

And I'm learning to not let those things rule my life.

But I didn't today. Today I moped around and let my bad mood rule the day. I got annoyed at the kids and argued with my husband. And Franky was a wild man, going from room to room wreaking havoc (this is not an exaggeration).

I just wish someone would come over and tell me what to do with this kid sometimes. I know I'm doing something wrong, I just don't know how to fix it. It it an ADD thing? Is he not getting enough attention?

It's like the potty training issue. He totally knows how to go on the potty. And there have been times I've really pushed it. But he's backslid so much that now he won't even tell me when he's pooped in his diaper which often results in diaper rash and me being EXTREMELY annoyed.

I love these little boys, I love them so much. But that doesn't mean that really crappy days don't exist in the parenting department over here.

love, ali

PS. Here are some pictures I found of happier times from the summer, before seasonal defective disorder began ruling our lives.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Thoughts on religion


God help me, it's so hard for me to do. I don't mean to say that I am a liar (although I can't say I've never lied). But to just be who I am without apologies or censorship and to be honest about who I really am and what I believe. That is something I struggle with.

Most often I want to be who you want me to be. Did we conversate today? You can almost guarantee I was thinking carefully about the words I was saying and how they would be perceived. To the point of obsession at times, I can assure you. And that is not something I admit with ease.

I am uncertain about many things. Though i don't really know if uncertain is the right phrase. Searching? Maybe? Indecisive. Insecure. Trying to find the right fit.

Lately I've been thinking a lot lately about my beliefs in a Higher Power. I was raised in a Mormon family and I attend a Mormon church. I serve with a group of women charged with leading the young ladies in my congregation. I pray on a daily basis. I search my scriptures for inspiration and guidance. I partake of the sacrament with a purposeful heart.

And yet... and here's the honesty part: not every single thing about Mormon doctrine makes my heart sing.

And so I've been searching, heart and soul and doctrine and other people with real life experience, and I've spent a lot of time on my knees.

So here comes the honesty part: I believe that I have a Savior who loves me. I know that my Heavenly Father loves me and that it will be a joyous day when I return to his loving arms after this life. I know that we are here for a purpose and that mostly that purpose is to do the best we can to help each other and learn to love each other and honestly, this religion helps me do that.

Love, ali