Monday, April 11, 2011

This treasure

These words spoke so strongly to me today:

I feel like I have a big basket full of gold coins and I'm walking down the street with the sun shining. I love my basket of coins, and I love the sun. There's a cool breeze and I'm by the ocean. Exactly where I want to be. But it's so full that they keep falling out and I stop every three seconds to pick one up. If I didn't know any better, I'd think they were flopping out on purpose, just to bug me. I can't keep up. So I am never- another one fell - doing - another one fell - enough - another one fell. My basket of coins, it's all I have, it's everything to me, it's a gift beyond my own ability to fully recognize. Hard to manage, yes, worth it, yes, easy? No.

The analogy was so beautifully spot on that it filled my soul with with sweet relief. Yes! That is me! I am that woman! Forever dropping coins! They're so beautiful yes, but can't they just stay in that damn basket for more than a few seconds at a time???

These boys, these beautiful, wonderful, demanding, all-consuming boys, they need me right now. So much so that in order to do it well, everything else suffers. And I'm constantly struggling to remember that this is alright. They are my greatest treasure, exhausting and insufferable at times, but always worthwhile.

love, ali

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