It is October of 2010. You, my lovely boys, are five months old (Drewy) and twenty-five months (Franky boy) and life is just flying by all too quickly.
When Franky was born I started writing him letters every month. I was hardcore and religiously chronicled his life: every first, every accomplishment, every emotion I experienced as I watched him grow. I had nearly a years worth of letters.
And then our harddrive crashed and I lost all but the first letter (thanks to this very blog). Those letters are irreplaceable and I will never get them back. It was a horribly traumatic experience and I even shed a few tears. But the point is that after the loss, like an idiot I stopped my monthly letters. I could kick myself even now for not carrying on.
But I am here now, over a year later, to redeem myself from my careless ways and give your life the narrative it deserves. When I first started writing I told Franky that I wanted him to know he was loved from the start and that certainly has not changed. And now baby Drew has come into our family and he has expanded that love.
So I’m not going to lie, kids. Two babies is a lot of work. I sat in on a lesson on Sunday with our young women where we were asked to add up all of the “free time” we have during the week. I think the object of the lesson was to show how much time we really do have that is at our discretion but it actually had the opposite effect for me. I get about two hours each night after you are in bed and occasionally an hour in the afternoon if the sun aligns with twelve different stars sending a hidden message to the angels of motherly mercy and you both nap at the same time.
In fact, at this precise moment Franky has been in his bed for about twenty minutes (hopefully asleep) and I am sitting in the living room listening to Drew cry and grumble his way to sleep. Obviously we are still working on naps with the smallish one.
The smallish one. Not so small anymore. You, my baby boy, are growing at a much more accelerated rate than your brother. One of the glorious things about having two babies of the same gender is getting to pull out all of the hand-me-downs. There are sweet memories attached to each outfit. But I’m realizing more and more that Franky was so much smaller than you.
I’m so sorry to compare. I hope comparisons to your brother do not become the bane of your existence. But we can only see the world as far as our perspective and experience allows. And in the mothering department Franky is all I know.
You adore your big brother. If he throws any attention your way you are all smiles. He runs across the living room and you laugh your head off.
You have also become a big fan of your dad. It was a little touchy there for a while because you were quite the mama’s boy (aren’t all nursing babies?). But not anymore. You light up when he gets home from work. And there have been times when he is the only one who could get you to sleep at night.
You have started eating solid food the last week or so and now you are pretty much hooked. Hopefully this will make it easier to leave you with sitters. You are not the kind of baby who is easy to take to a restaurant. You are pretty demanding and like to be held and/or entertained about eighty percent of the time. The other twenty percent you are content to sit and watch. But I still love you one hundred percent and beyond.
Franky Franky Franky. You are a stark medley of opposites. Jubilance and despair. Cuddly and cold. Helpful and defiant. You swing back and forth all day long. It’s exhausting sometimes. But I’m learning some little tricks to help keep you steady.
You need to be exercised daily. You love to run and climb and pick up sticks and throw rocks. But you also need mental stimulation. You need to count and read a book five times in a row and build towers and sort thing into tupperware.. Basically the more I play with you the less of a crazy head you are.
I try and get you outside every day. We go and visit the horses a lot. You love horses. You also LOVE a good park. Sometimes when we get cabin fever we just drive around and find cool parks. We have become quite the park connoisseurs.
You amaze me everyday with the words you know. I don’t know if you are exceptionally smart but I can’t help the excitement when you communicate some random idea to me.
“Baby happy!” you say. And indeed, the baby was happy.
“Daddy golf,” you tell me each day as he leaves for work. Ha ha! In his dreams.
You are so sweet to your brother. It still blows my mind how tender you are with him. I know you guys are going to fight and he’s going to steal your toys and drive you bananas. But at this point in our lives, you are nothing but sweet to him. I honestly can not think of a single time you have hurt him (intentionally). You always make sure he is taken care of. If he is fussing and I have to run in the other room to get something and he starts to cry I tell you “talk to your brother so he doesn’t cry.” I can hear you in the other room saying “It’s okay baby” and making funny noises so he will laugh. I hope you will always take care of your brother.
Halloween this year was good times. Last year Franky, you were still too little to really get it. But this year daddy took you trick-or-treating. I want you to know, that the whole Halloween thing was all your dad. He spent weeks and weeks leading up to Halloween recording Halloween shows for you to watch and telling you over and over again about how you tell people trick-or-treat and they give you candy. By the time the holiday rolled around you were ready. I think this holiday is just going to get more and more fun as you get older.
Well babies, life is good. What can I say? I thank God every night that I get to be your Mommy. That is not an exaggeration.
All my love,