Wednesday, June 3, 2009

A mothers prayer

I have an awful little habit of checking on Franky multiple times after he goes to sleep. It wouldn't normally be so horrible except for the fact that the door to his bedroom is of the alarmingly creaky variety. It's nearly impossible to sneak a peek without waking him up.

But the other night I had made it past the groaning door without even a stir from the sleeping child in the crib. I stand over him in the dark and place my hand gently on his back, rising up and down in a slow, steady rhythm. And I stay that way for a long time, listening to him breath. And gradually I find myself overcome with a profound sense of how much love I have for this child. SO powerful, it's palpable, the heat pushing tears from the corners of my eyes and down my cheeks. And a prayer crosses my lips:

"Dear God..."

I hesitate. What do I TRUELY, HONESTLY want for my child. The world on a silver platter? A long life without injury or accident? Or something more?

"I don't ask that my son have an easy life. But I do ask that he have a good life"

I know, right? But it felt profound at the time.

love, aloicious

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