Sunday, January 25, 2009

Bloom

A couple of years ago Zach and I sat down and painted a mental picture of what we wanted our dream life to consist of. That picture included babies, a home of our own (minus the tenants living on the other side of the walls), and financial freedom.

A big part of our dream life also involved raising our family outside of the city. All you "coast dwellers" probably laugh at the thought of Salt Lake being considered the big city. But there is a mighty big difference between where we live now and where we'd like to live.

Zach grew up in a town of about 600 people. It's a couple of hours outside of Salt Lake and his parents and two brothers and their families still live there.

But it's more than just a town to us. Living there to me means a life with room to run. It's wide open spaces and horseback riding in the canyons. It's not having to lock your doors. It's barefoot summers and dusty roads. It's high school football games and rodeos. Its sort of become my fantasy life.

And this week we've heard whispers that we might have a job down there soon. But we've heard it before. And nothing has come to fruition. But the thought of moving in the next couple of months made my heart ache a little. Because when we're gone I will truly miss this city. I'll miss the big park with it's fantastic people-watching opportunities and farmers markets. I'll miss driving down streets where I grew up, memories of wild, carefree adventures flooding back. I'll miss watching my parents worship Frankles with the same gusto as I do on an almost daily basis. I'll miss the summer get togethers and the pot lucks on Sunday afternoons. I'll miss the few AMAZING friends who live just minutes away.

And so, with so much to be missed, why am I not enjoying it now? Why have I not embraced the opportunity to thrive in this beautiful city? To appreciate it's beauty? The architecture? The eateries? The mountains? The people - friends and family alike?

I complain about our tiny apartment, the crime rate, the traffic. But if things truly go as planned and we leave this city for the simpler life, I will miss it.

The truth is I might be sitting here a year from now wondering if my "simple life" fantasy will ever become a reality. But I'd like to have bloomed a little more right here and learned to embrace what we've got now instead of always waiting for something better. Because what I have now is pretty spectacular.

And so, as fiercely as I would regret the missed opportunity to raise my kids in a small town, I will with equal enthusiasm enjoy what could be my last summer here in the big city.



love, aloicious

2 comments:

Keely said...

Hmm...someone said, "Wherever you go, there you are".

Every place has it's pros and cons. Friends and family are important, enjoy them while they're close!

Casey said...

Keely's words are wise. Heheh. I've always wanted to raise my kids away from the city but we have family nearby and don't want to leave them. Tampa has such a bad crime rate and I hate it here but I'd miss the convenience of having everything within a two mile radius.

You'll be happy no matter where you are... or something.