Monday, October 13, 2008

Deep thought (not by Jack Handy)

What defines a person? Their base? Their one word? Classifies them as good or bad? Uplifting or destructive?

There is no middle ground when it comes to those I call my friends. And I judge people based on their actions. And when those actions cause pain and anguish again and again and again and again and again and again and again, it graduates from a mistake to a pattern. At that point it's time to cut your ties and save yourself from the destruction of the "agains".

There's a difference between acceptance and ignorance. It's not that I don't believe in redemption and I do believe in forgiveness, but I don't believe in letting yourself be a doormat. Or seeing only what you want to see. Or being with someone deeply flawed, hoping they will change. It's not fair to either party. And unfortunately sometimes it takes something drastic to make people realize this. And sometimes they never do, and generations suffer. And lives are wasted.

Here is yet another moment when I have to remember that only my life is my own. And no matter how much my stomach aches to think about what it means for her, it's her choice to make.

Love, me


goodfather said...

Ha ha, I love Jack Handy!

'...I judge people based on their actions.'

Yup. I've struggled so long in my own life with believing what people say they are going to do, instead of seeing what they do. My Mom used to say I see the world through rose-colored glasses, heh.

Good post!

Nicole said...

this post rang true with something that I am dealing with. thank you for being such a good writer!

Ali-Pants said...

I'm generally an optimist as well and try to give people the benefit of the doubt. But there are bad people out there. There's always a payoff to being the hero but people never really change for other people. They change because they want to change. So I have to remind myself of that sometimes.